This week I came back to school. Brilliant! NOT! In the first class we had on Tuesday, English, we got a lecture about our behaviour and work before we had even the chance to cause trouble. We were told to start focusing and to ‘pull up our socks’. Does that phrase drive anyone else mad? ‘Pull up your socks’! Every teacher uses it. In primary school I always remember being so confused when a teacher said that, and up to second class, I always took it literally... who was a dipshit? Nikki was a dipshit! Yey go me. So day one back in school after the midterm and the TY year are already getting into shit. For no obvious reason.
And computers, well that was just super... I’m convinced that Ms. Watson is schizophrenic. One minute she was grand, just her usual kind-of-annoying self, then, she freaked, and I mean TOTALLY freaked. Unfortunately she happed to have this freak while standing in front of Eloise’s computer. Considering that we had been given out shite to already before the day even started, it was obvious that she was going to start bitching at us. So now we are the worst TY class that she has ever had. We are also the most talkative class she has ever had, which is a lie! My third junior cycle base class was like MEGA noisy and talkative. And she had us! So she told this all to us through screams and proceeded to smash down on Eloise’s computer with a closed fist. The poor girl got such a shock! Shockingly the comp actually still worked after its beating. So we are officially ‘the worst class in the school’ according to the teachers. That’s right! Just kick the TY class when they’re down! So today we got a lecture off Mr. Sweeney too, because he heard the schizophrenic screaming throughout the corridors. Fucking wonderful. Hah typical!
Tomorrow there is a school retreat that I suppose I should be going to. This week has been such a bad week for me. Things just keep getting worse and worse. I so fricken stressed out at the moment when I shouldn’t be. You know that feeling you get in your chest when you get oh so very stressed? I have that. It’s like a massive lump sitting in my chest. I don’t want to go on the retreat. I just don’t feel like having a wissshy washy ‘let’s talk about our feelings’ session thank you very much... I'm never too fond of retreats but I can usually stick them for just one day. This time, I can’t even think about going in. I will probably end up screaming at someone. I don’t know what’s happening with me. I'm such a freak. I can’t even stay sane for a week.
No one is happy with me now. They all want me to go on the retreat but I won’t so now one or two people aren’t talking to me. I know they want me to go, but I just need to be selfish this week. People keep telling me ‘well you’re going to be on your own’ but if I'm honest, that’s the best part about not going. I really need some alone time or something, I just don’t want to lash out at anyone, as I said, I'm not in the right state of mind this week.
On the bright side, my choir show is on Saturday and I have my solo down cold! I love the song, it’s just so sweet. I guess if your reading and you were one of my few friends to buy a ticket, I guess you will hear me sing it live. Today, some of the girls who sing this part of a song with me weren’t at rehearsals so I had to sing by myself at the mike. I didn’t mind at all! Now Ian (my choir director) knows that I can sing high without screeching haha! He always just assumes I have a booming voice that’s mad deep, it’s nice to see a change in his opinion. He finally knows my name and is constantly asking me to sing certain parts in songs which is pretty awesome!
I was just thinking, I'm pretty lucky in the way I am never nervous in front of an audience. Of course I will be shitting myself right up until the point where I start singing, but after that, it’s not nerve wrecking, it just fun! First big show =] but I have to go to 30 seconds to mars first on Friday! As all females know, Jared Leto is probably the most gorgeous man on earth... oh my. So I should have no bother waiting through Friday! *sigh*
Anyway, all of you, have a wonderful Thursday. I can assure you that it will be a far better Thursday for you than it will be for me.
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